Journal Entry October 5, 2010, Hong Kong

So I met a man last night while we were taking food to the homeless people. His name is Charles... I think. He talked to me and Ash. We couldn’t understand him very well, but with the help of a translator, he shared with us how he just got out of 25 years in prison. His crime? He’d decapitated a man with a switchblade because the man was hitting on his girlfriend... I think I had a mini heart-attack. He went on to share how in his tenth year of this prison sentence the Fook Lam Church Pastor began to visit him every week and by his 12th year, he was radically saved and began a ministry in the prison.

Somehow I got stuck on the fact that he’d killed someone. He didn’t look like a killer, dressed nice, wide smile, very outgoing... But he was, he decapitated a man. (I hate that word; decapitated). For a total of about ten seconds I stood there almost mad at him... But then a still small voice reminded me that he is loved as well, as much as me. (Why do I think sometimes that I’m loved more than some people because of how good I am or how much I do or haven’t done? Oh brother, Monica!) I began to pray in my heart. And suddenly I was filled with excitement for what God had done in and through this man, who had committed such an ugly crime. But then... That’s my God. 

While in prison he lost contact with his daughter because his girlfriend had severed all connections. He desperately wanted to find her. I told him I would pray. He also told me he needs a job. I told him I would pray. And he told me he needs a new house. I told him I would pray. Wow... Better get on that!!! 

FOOK LAM CHURCH 

Every Tuesday night, come what may, this small congregation of people will be out on the streets. Physically and spiritually embracing the lowest of the low. What an inspiration they’ve been to me. I’ve been so humbled. They know the names and stories of every person. They know exactly when and where to find them. They feed, encourage, embrace (yes, HUG), pray and simply hang out with these people. Something nobody does. 

Here’s an example of this crazy love:

It was midnight. We (the YWAMers) were getting tired, but the people of the FLC were going strong. Looking for a man named... we’ll say Hon Si. He wasn’t in his usual spot. As we were walking a voice called from the other side of the wide road. It was him. He used an old folding chair for a walker. His hair was very thin, but long and stringy. He wore a long jacket to his feet, it was stained and just looked like it wreaked. With an exhausting effort he raised an arm in greeting and began to push his chair across the road - NOT paying any attention to what was coming. Down the road a huge truck rumbled his way. It honked, but as you’d know if you’ve been to HK, it was not going to slow down. Especially not for this individual. Would he be hit? We stood frozen, horrified. I’m glad someone was thinking. The pastor ran out into the street. He scooped the man up and ran out of the way of the truck just in time. In that moment I saw Jesus. And I cried. 

This is what it means to be His hands and feet. 

"Father, give me eyes that see need. Give me a heart to respond and hands to literally give love. No matter how uncomfortable the situation. Jesus did. And I want to be like Him. But I'll need help. Be at work in my heart, Holy Spirit. You are great. I love You. Amen." 

Another Psalm of Monica

In front of me stood a mountain.

You told it to move. 

Behind me demons screamed. 

You told them to be quiet

Over me hung regrets.

You told them to be gone. 

Under me the ground threatened to open and eat me. 

You told it to be still. 

You surround me now.

You go before me like a pillar of fire.

You guard my back like a shield.

You cover me with Your Blood.

And you make sure my steps.

You surround me now.

I will not be afraid. 

I will not come out from under Your wings. 

A voice whispered lies in my head.

You raised Your voice louder.

A cold hand of fear gripped my arm. 

Your warm hands embraced my heart.

A rope of confusion  waited to trip me. 

You cut it with Your peace.

A knife of discouragement stabbed at my chest.

Your love healed me, encouraged me.

You surround me now. 

You tell me I’m beautiful, I’m dear.

You hold me when I’m insecure. 

You calm my storm.

You wrap me in love and dry my tears. 

You surround me now. 

I will not be afraid. 

I will not come out from under Your wings.

I will not. 

Here I am love.

And I am free. 

A Hike ~ October 1, 2011

For you shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills will break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Isaiah 55:12 

The early morning air was crisp and clean. I was eager to be out in the mountains. Good thing too, the hike was twenty miles and would take all day. I was ready. I was going out with joy. 

Every color was more vivid up there. The mountains, looking purple, with deep green fir trees and aspens that appeared to be ablaze, stood erect against the bright blue sky. 

My steps were sure. My breath even. 

This is the day that the Lord has make, let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

At every turn in the path my eyes saw another small wonder. A crimson berry, a purple pinecone, a green snake. Small things. Was there anything ugly out there? No, I saw no ugly thing. 

“I love you God. I love that You love beauty. You must be good... You are good. Oh my word God! Look at that flower! Oh... You made that, You know it’s there. I love Indian Paintbrushes... I wish I could pick one. But technically that’s illegal, and anyway, what would I do with it? I may as well let it grow... Good idea? Yes, ok. Check out the color of that tree’s leaves? They’re like highlighter yellow and orange!...” 

These kinds of conversations with God went on either in my head or quiet whispers all morning. 

By noon the sun was on us, shining bright on my shoulders. Warm and gentle. 

“I love the sun. I love light. What if it was dark all the time? I couldn’t see all this beauty. But then... There wouldn’t be all this beauty, because the sun is what makes it grow. Oh God, thank you for the sunshine.” 

Then God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness. Genesis 1:3

Soon we came to the point we’d all been psyching ourselves up for. The mountain. Kathy said there were 59 switchbacks going up one side and down the other... And it looked like she was correct. At the bottom we drank water at the creek. The mountain stared down at us, daring us to climb. We took it. 

The beginning was the hardest. But soon it became mechanical... One foot in front of the other... 15, 16, 17...

 I looked up to the snow at the top, then down to the creek below. What an amazing cycle. The snow falls on the mountain, the mountain slowly gives it up to the creek below, which eventually flows to us to drink and wash and enjoy... Repeat every year. 

The mountains rose; they valleys sank down to the place which you established for them. You set a boundary that they may not pass over, so that they will not return to cover the earth. He sends forth springs in the valleys; they flow between the mountains; they give drink to every beast of the field; the wild donkeys quench their thirst. Beside them the birds of the heavens dwell; they lift up their voices among the branches. Psalm 104:8-12

"I am provided for. Oh God thank You." 

My chest swelled and sank, my heart pounded. Sweat dripped and my face burned. Almost done. Keep walking. A cool breeze pulled the hair away from my face. 

“Oh that feels nice.” I said aloud, though no one was around. It was to God anyways. “Thanks” 

I heard a whoop. And a bark. Maddie and Malk had reached the top. And I was close. With that I received another burst of energy and before I new it I was sitting at the top enjoying an crunchy apple and a magnificent view. 

Praise the LORD! Praise the LORD from the heavens; Praise Him in the heights! Praise Him, all His angels; Praise Him, all His hosts! Praise Him, sun and moon; Praise Him, all stars of light! Praise Him, highest heavens, and the waters that are above the heavens! Psalm 148:1-3

All around us mountain peaks gawked at us face to face... As if to say, “Why are you up here? You shouldn’t be up here.” We laughed and stretched out and cooled down. 

Time to go. Time to get back. The second half we’d push. I swung my pack on and laced my shoe. I packed sunflower seeds in my cheeks and pockets. I was set. 

Mile after mile we walked, spread out. Dad in the front, long strides. Shel at his heels, cowboy hat pushed back. Maddie in the middle, pigtails coming out. Mom next, talking... always talking. Me, in the back, watching. These are the people I love most. The people who love me most. The people God placed me with. I love them. 

“And I will be a Father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters, to Me,” says the Lord Almighty. 2 Corinthians 6:18

“God, thank You for my biological family. I love them... As Maddie would say, ‘I love us.” Haha... Yeah but thank You mostly for adopting me into Your family. For making me Your daughter and heiress. You are a wonderful Father. I am a blessed daughter.” 

Four miles to go. My feet hurt, but I still enjoyed every sight and sound and smell. We saw a moose family. A big bull, with a cow and two calves. They were so beautiful... and so close. We only looked at them and said hi... or at least I said hi. Then we were on our way. 

"Wild animals and all cattle, small creatures and flying birds, kings of the earth and all nations, you princes and all rulers on earth, young men and maidens, old men and children. Let them praise the name of the Lord, for his name alone is exalted; his splendor is above the earth and the heavens" Psalm 148:10-13

I thought about those moose praising God. That’s what they do. That’s what they were created to do. So if they had voices, they’d praise God. Oh if only I could hear that. 

Two miles, one mile... We walked along a murmuring creek. The sun was sinking down behind distant, but not unfamiliar peaks.

...He leads me beside still waters, He restores my soul... Psalm 23:2-3

I could see the bridge at the end. 

“Here we are Lord. I made it. Thank You for bringing us all the way safely. You are so good. I love You.” 

Yes, my legs were sore and my cheeks sunburnt. But it is so worth it to get out in creation. It does something for the soul. When I see the natural, rough beauty of Montana my heart fills with thankfulness for... well... everything. I am so blessed. My cup is full and overflowing. 

“Jesus, thank You. I love you.”

Let’s go again soon.